Have you ever been asked at work to provide feedback and voice your concerns? Perhaps you’ve been encouraged to take time off if needed and make sure you have a good work-life balance. Or perhaps a team leader has wanted you to “think outside the box” and come up with innovative ideas?
These are pretty common requests. But, what is not always so clear from the outset is the effect of these seemingly simple statements on what is required to actually follow through.
Conflict can arise at work when there’s a difference between what is said, and what is truly expected.
Highlights
- Feedback Paradox: Giving feedback can lead to negative perceptions, yet silence may compromise values.
- Work-Life Balance Dilemma: Taking personal time off can be seen as lack of commitment, despite company encouragement.
- Innovation vs. Risk: Creative ideas are encouraged but often rejected as too risky or untested.
- Overcoming Double Binds: Solutions include structured feedback, clear communication of personal commitments, and risk assessment for new ideas.
- Personal Skills for Resolution: Self-awareness, effective communication, flexibility, assertiveness, and emotional regulation are key to navigating double binds.
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3 Examples of Common Workplace Conflicts
- Scenario 1: An employee is encouraged to provide feedback and voice their concerns. However, when they do share constructive criticism, they are labelled as negative or not being a team player. What is the double bind? The employee is caught in a situation where providing feedback can lead to negative perceptions while staying silent might mean compromising on their values or observations.
- Scenario 2: A company promotes work-life balance and encourages employees to take time off for personal reasons. However, those who do take frequent breaks or leave early are seen as less committed to their jobs. What is the double bind? Employees are in a dilemma where taking time off for personal reasons can be perceived as a lack of commitment, while not taking time off goes against the company's promoted values.
- Scenario 3: Employees are encouraged to think outside the box and come up with innovative ideas. However, when they propose something that deviates from the norm, it's often shot down as being too risky or untested. What is the double bind? Employees are in a position where being creative can lead to rejection while sticking to the norm can be seen as a lack of innovation.
These scenarios highlight individuals' complexities and contradictions in professional settings, leading to challenging double-bind situations.
Silent Challenges That Make “Double Binds” Hard to Manage
Here's why each solution might be hard to implement:
Challenge in Scenario 1: Organisational culture and the personalities of superiors can make open communication difficult. Some managers may not be receptive to feedback, regardless of how constructively it's presented. Additionally, frequent feedback sessions might be seen as time-consuming or unnecessary.
Challenge in Scenario 2: The pressure to always be "on" and available, especially in competitive industries or roles, can make it difficult for employees to prioritise personal time. There might also be an unspoken expectation that dedicated employees should prioritise work over personal commitments.
Challenge in Scenario 3: Bureaucratic processes, resistance to change, or a lack of resources can hinder the implementation of innovative ideas. Additionally, the fear of failure or the unknown can make stakeholders hesitant to support untested initiatives.
While the solutions provide a path forward, the challenges highlight the complexities of human behaviour, organisational dynamics, and the broader environment in which these situations arise.
Overcoming these challenges often requires a combination of individual resilience, supportive leadership, and a conducive organisational culture.
Breaking Free From Double Binds
Here's a continuation of the scenarios with potential solutions for each:
Scenario 1 Solution: Employees can schedule regular feedback sessions with their superiors, ensuring that the feedback is framed constructively. By creating a structured environment for feedback and presenting solutions alongside criticisms, the employee can position themselves as proactive and solution-oriented.
Scenario 2 Solution: Employees can communicate their personal commitments in advance and ensure that their work is completed or delegated appropriately during their absence. By demonstrating that personal time off doesn't compromise work quality, employees can set a precedent for healthy work-life balance.
Scenario 3 Solution: When proposing innovative ideas, employees can also present a risk assessment or a pilot plan. By showing that they've considered potential challenges and have a plan to test the idea on a smaller scale, employees can alleviate concerns about risk.
It’s important to keep in mind that these are complex situations and that implementing solutions, especially in work contexts, often comes with challenges. Individuals can navigate double bind situations more effectively by adopting a growth mindset and seeking win-win solutions.
Putting It All Together
Scenario 1
- Overview: An employee is encouraged to provide feedback and voice their concerns. However, when they do share constructive criticism, they are labelled as negative or not being a team player.
- Double bind: The employee is caught in a situation where providing feedback can lead to negative perceptions while staying silent might mean compromising on their values or observations.
- Challenge: Organisational culture and the personalities of superiors can make open communication difficult. Some managers may not be receptive to feedback, regardless of how constructively it's presented. Additionally, frequent feedback sessions might be seen as time-consuming or unnecessary.
- Solution: Employees can schedule regular feedback sessions with their superiors, ensuring that the feedback is framed constructively. By creating a structured environment for feedback and presenting solutions alongside criticisms, the employee can position themselves as proactive and solution-oriented.
Scenario 2
- Overview: A company promotes work-life balance and encourages employees to take time off for personal reasons. However, those who do take frequent breaks or leave early are seen as less committed to their jobs.
- Double Bind: Employees are in a dilemma where taking time off for personal reasons can be perceived as a lack of commitment, while not taking time off goes against the company's promoted values.
- Challenge: The pressure to always be "on" and available, especially in competitive industries or roles, can make it difficult for employees to prioritise personal time. There might also be an unspoken expectation that dedicated employees should prioritise work over personal commitments.
- Solution: Employees can communicate their personal commitments in advance and ensure that their work is completed or delegated appropriately during their absence. By demonstrating that personal time off doesn't compromise work quality, employees can set a precedent for healthy work-life balance.
Scenario 3
- Overview: Employees are encouraged to think outside the box and come up with innovative ideas. However, when they propose something that deviates from the norm, it's often shot down as being too risky or untested.
- Double Bind: Employees are in a position where being creative can lead to rejection, while sticking to the norm can be seen as a lack of innovation.
- Challenge: Bureaucratic processes, resistance to change, or a lack of resources can hinder the implementation of innovative ideas. Additionally, the fear of failure or the unknown can make stakeholders hesitant to support untested initiatives.
- Solution: Employees can also present a risk assessment or a pilot plan when proposing innovative ideas. By showing that they've considered potential challenges and have a plan to test the idea on a smaller scale, employees can alleviate concerns about risk.
Methods to Overcome “Double Binds” At Work
Avoiding the trap of double binds and overcoming them requires a combination of self-awareness, effective communication, and certain personal and interpersonal characteristics.
Here's how you can stop falling into the trap of double binds and the characteristics needed to overcome them:
1. Unlock Self-Awareness: Recognise when you're in a double bind situation. Being aware of the conflicting demands or messages allows you to address them proactively.
2. Mastering Effective Communication: If you feel caught between conflicting demands, seek clarity. Ask questions to understand what's truly expected of you.
3. Embrace Flexibility: Be adaptable in your approach. Recognise that there might be more than one way to address a situation, and be open to alternative solutions.
4. Empower Through Assertiveness: Stand up for your beliefs and feelings without being aggressive. Being assertive means expressing your needs and setting boundaries.
5. Harness Emotional Regulation: Double binds can be emotionally taxing. Developing the ability to manage and regulate your emotions helps you respond rationally rather than reactively.
6. Explore External Perspectives: Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide clarity. Discuss the situation with trusted friends, family, mentor or Employee Assistance Program counsellor to gain insights.
7. Embark on Continuous Learning: Equip yourself with knowledge and skills that can help you navigate complex situations. Purchase our recent webinar, Hysterical Inactivity: What to do When Frozen by Overwhelm, to learn how to overcome double binds.
Next Steps…
If you’d like to learn more about how to break free from “double binds” that drain productivity and create conflict at work, then watch our on-demand webinar Hysterical Inactivity: What to do When Frozen by Overwhelm.
Double binds can very easily lead to overwhelm, so keep overwhelm at bay with the strategies shared here by “mind trainer” Julie Robinson.
